Critique Thread- Get peoples opinions on your works!

    Haloheroine
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    Post by Haloheroine on Fri Jul 02, 2010 8:02 pm

    Whether it is an UTAUloid, boxart, a comic, A cover of a song or an original, feel free to post them for opinions here!

    I am kind of expecting other people to join in in the critiquing process, as one persons opinion may differ from anothers', it's good to get a wide variety of opinions...

    But keep in mind, "critique" is NOT Bashing.
    There's a difference between "Hm... She sounds a bit weak, maybe you should add some vibrato..." and "You suck at using Miku!".
    This goes for the people receiving critique as well. If someone says something negative about your works, they are not necessarily bashing. If you don't think you can handle someone telling you some thing's off, I'd advise you not to post.
    At the same time, critique also does not mean praise.
    You can't just... Say "Oh that's great", you really need to point out problems. That's why people are here, right?


    ...Okay, done with precautions. Go, post away!

    You can join in the critiquing at any time, but if you think you will be frequenting this thread to help, you are allowed to join the "Board of Editors" so people can ask you directly for help. Just fill in a form and I'll add you.

    Form:
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    [i]Some stuff about you[/i]


    Board of Editors
    Ask them for help with anything on topic!

    Username: Haloheroine

    Preferred name: Halo

    Specialties: Art, Comic techniques, UTAU (like USTs, oto.ini, etc), UTAUloids, some music (but has had no formal training and goes by ear), writing.

    Hey, Halo here. Made this thread because I know some people like to get real critique, that YouTube and DeviantArt don't always provide. One of the three jobs I want to go for in the future is editing, either art or writing. I seem to have a bit of a built in knack for it. I am willing to give out critique on anything Vocaloid/UTAU related. Of course, not owning Vocaloid, I can't give technical support to any problems I bring up on that, but I can and will help with UTAU and Art to the fullest of my abilities!


    Username: smeen

    Preferred name: smeen

    Specialties:
    Writing and stuff like that.

    Uhm... I don't know if I can be of any help. But I will try my best. I' ve been writing for my own, for fanfiction and for school for over 6 years so I suppose I can help you with some things. I also can try to help with other things, but I'm not really good in designing so I don't promise being of any help in that department.


    Username: Ezri

    Preferred name: Ezri

    Specialties:
    Music (formal training all my life<3) and art. Character design.

    I'll try my best to give helpful critiques! ^^; I want to go into design at some point, so art is really my main thing. I've taken some private lessons for art, but mostly I go by what I see. ouo; (People tell me I have a good eye for things, but I don't know how accurate that is.) I also know a ton about music, and love it, so I'll be able to help out with that too!


    Username: Chasing Fireflies

    Preferred name: Chase

    Specialties: Music, UTAU (like USTs, oto.ini, etc), UTAUloids, writing

    Umm, I really hope I'll be able to help! ^__^;; Ask me anything about music, it's basically been my life for as long as I can remember and I've been told I have a really good ear for it. I can also help with original songs (I'm not great with lyrics but I'll do my best. ^__^;; ) I haven't been using UTAU too terribly long (about half a year?) but I think I've gotten the hang of it and I'll let you know if something seems amiss.


    Username: xMienaiTsubasa

    Preferred name: Mienai

    Specialties:
    UTAU and sound mostly

    I really hope I can be of help~ I've only been using UTAU about half a year but I pick things up really quickly and I already know a lot about the program, and hopefully I can use that to tell you how you can make your UTAUloid sound better~ I can also try and critique a little on art as well, but I don't know so much about that ^^;


    Username: Yanyu

    Preferred name: Yanyu (Or anything thou wishes to call meh~<3)

    Specialties: Art, design and crazy fashion (...I have a passion for fashion), Utauloids, writing...?

    I love to help people, I've been doing a level art in college this year and have improved all areas of my art far - although I still have much to learn in digital; art is my forte but I have been using utau for 1 year+ now (too shy to post anything of my utau though..)? I can also help critic english writing, if it's needed.


    Username: Yume Barauta

    Preferred name: Yume (But call me whatever you want. :3)

    Specialties: Art, writing... UTAUloids too, I suppose

    I'll do my best to be of help! Unfortunately, I have a hard time telling people when they do something wrong... But I'll try! I've been using UTAU for about as long as most of the Overseas UTAU pioneers but Yume was my first success. If I had done Yuki or Sen and Ran or even Chi properly, I would have been among the first Overseas UTAU users. I'm still not great at the program though. xD;;


    I will be organizing these into categories soon enough. ^^- Glad you guys are showing much intrest.


    Last edited by Haloheroine on Sun Jul 04, 2010 7:23 pm; edited 5 times in total
    smeen
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    Post by smeen on Sat Jul 03, 2010 8:12 am

    Username: smeen
    Preferred name: smeen
    Specialties: Writing and stuff like that.
    Uhm... I don't know if I can be of any help. But I will try my best. I' ve been writing for my own, for fanfiction and for school for over 6 years so I suppose I can help you with some things. I also can try to help with other things, but I'm not really good in designing so I don't promise being of any help in that departement.
    moeloid
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    Post by moeloid on Sat Jul 03, 2010 10:49 am

    ....yeah I can't critique since I'm too polite \orz

    sooooo, could you please just critique my UTAU? (overall)

    /copypaste from VO

    Picture of UTAU: Critique Thread- Get peoples opinions on your works! 316ozk0

    Name: Phoenix Honoone (炎音フィニークス)

    Age: 17

    Height: 130cm (4'11")

    Weight: 43kg (95lb)

    Personality: Quiet, shy, kind, oblivious.

    Backstory (if you have one, if you dont, leave blank): He did, but it's not really important o3o

    Paired with(if none, leave blank) : himself? I dunno, also doesn't matter -3-

    Character Item: Key

    Video or Video's of them:




    Their Voicebank: 4shared.com/file/yXdJf458/98_online.html


    I hope he's not too much of a failure ||||||||orz

    /end copypaste
    Ezri
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    Post by Ezri on Sat Jul 03, 2010 1:21 pm

    Username: Ezri

    Preferred name: Ezri

    Specialties: Music (formal training all my life<3) and art. Character design, if that's a category.

    I'll try my best to give helpful critiques! ^^; I want to go into design at some point, so art is really my main thing. I've taken some private lessons for art, but mostly I go by what I see. ouo; (People tell me I have a good eye for things, but I don't know how accurate that is.) I also know a ton about music, and love it, so I'll be able to help out with that too!
    Haloheroine
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    Post by Haloheroine on Sat Jul 03, 2010 7:45 pm

    moeloid wrote:....yeah I can't critique since I'm too polite \orz

    sooooo, could you please just critique my UTAU? (overall)

    SOUND-
    Hm... Sounds like his otos need a bit of tweaking... But that could have been you not fitting your UTAUloid appropriately on the UST in the last video.
    Sounds lovely in Koi wo Shiteimasu... So yeah. ^^' You're female, right?
    He sounds a bit... Shota for a "17" year old. May or may not want to work on that.

    DESIGN-
    He's just a little plain, but he's pretty good overall.
    D: The blue on his shirt. It does not fit. At all. /color scheme nazi
    Looking at the rest of the outfit, I'd choose a color closer to the black/gray/red/yellow combo you have right now. Maybe more yellow?
    Hm... Looking at him, he closely resembles Gakupo with no hakama and a different jacket XD And no giant ponytail, but outfitwise.
    That's not really a bad thing though c:

    And I can't really comment on anything else...
    Name is fine, voice quality is fine... No backstory that's weird and outrageous XD
    c: I kinda like him.

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    Post by Chasing Fireflies on Sat Jul 03, 2010 9:07 pm

    Username: Chasing Fireflies

    Preferred name: Chase

    Specialties: Music, UTAU (like USTs, oto.ini, etc), UTAUloids, writing

    Umm, I really hope I'll be able to help! ^__^;; Ask me anything about music, it's basically been my life for as long as I can remember and I've been told I have a really good ear for it. I can also help with original songs (I'm not great with lyrics but I'll do my best. ^__^;; ) I haven't been using UTAU too terribly long (about half a year?) but I think I've gotten the hang of it and I'll let you know if something seems amiss.
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    Post by xMienaiTsubasa on Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:08 am

    Username: xMienaiTsubasa

    Preferred name: Mienai

    Specialties: UTAU and sound mostly

    I really hope I can be of help~ I've only been using UTAU about half a year but I pick things up really quickly and I already know a lot about the program, and hopefully I can use that to tell you how you can make your UTAUloid sound better~ I can also try and critique a little on art as well, but I don't know so much about that ^^;
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    Post by Yanyu on Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:30 am

    Username: Yanyu

    Preferred name: Yanyu (Or anything thou wishes to call meh~<3)

    Specialties: Art, design and crazy fashion (...I have a passion for fashion), Utauloids, writing...?

    I love to help people, I've been doing a level art in college this year and have improved all areas of my art far - although I still have much to learn in digital; art is my forte but I have been using utau for 1 year+ now (too shy to post anything of my utau though..)? I can also help critic english writing, if it's needed.
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    Post by Yume Barauta on Sun Jul 04, 2010 10:06 am

    Username: Yume Barauta

    Preferred name: Yume (But call me whatever you want. :3)

    Specialties: Art, writing... UTAUloids too, I suppose

    I'll do my best to be of help! Unfortunately, I have a hard time telling people when they do something wrong... But I'll try! I've been using UTAU for about as long as most of the Overseas UTAU pioneers but Yume was my first success. If I had done Yuki or Sen and Ran or even Chi properly, I would have been among the first Overseas UTAU users. I'm still not great at the program though. xD;;
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    Post by moeloid on Sun Jul 04, 2010 3:43 pm

    Haloheroine wrote:
    moeloid wrote:....yeah I can't critique since I'm too polite \orz

    sooooo, could you please just critique my UTAU? (overall)

    SOUND-
    Hm... Sounds like his otos need a bit of tweaking... But that could have been you not fitting your UTAUloid appropriately on the UST in the last video.
    Sounds lovely in Koi wo Shiteimasu... So yeah. ^^' You're female, right?
    He sounds a bit... Shota for a "17" year old. May or may not want to work on that.

    DESIGN-
    He's just a little plain, but he's pretty good overall.
    D: The blue on his shirt. It does not fit. At all. /color scheme nazi
    Looking at the rest of the outfit, I'd choose a color closer to the black/gray/red/yellow combo you have right now. Maybe more yellow?
    Hm... Looking at him, he closely resembles Gakupo with no hakama and a different jacket XD And no giant ponytail, but outfitwise.
    That's not really a bad thing though c:

    And I can't really comment on anything else...
    Name is fine, voice quality is fine... No backstory that's weird and outrageous XD
    c: I kinda like him.


    Yeah, I hadn't fixed the ust to the oto DX and I have to fix the oto for 'ne' as well.....

    And yeah, I'm female. And I know he sounds shota.....lolz
    I'm working on some append-ish thingies to make him sound older and junk^^

    I'll work on his outfit a bit, too^^'
    It has been changing a little at a time anyways~

    thank you for your critique!
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    Post by Sakiko Hanane on Sun Jul 04, 2010 10:27 pm

    This is the thread I've been dreaming of. ;w; I adore critique, so thank all of you for participating in this. I'd like some critique on Sakiko's voice and character design (aesthetically and personality-wise), if you don't mind~

    Here's a sample song. Though if anyone would like to look at a couple of her other songs, that would be great. Smile

    Name: Sakiko Hanane (I translate this as "blossoming flower-sound," named for her drive to improve.)

    Backstory: Built as a sort of companion robot to an inventor/artist. Though she wasn't built for it, Sakiko immediately took up singing after seeing the Vocaloids on the internet. She aims to be the best robotic singer in America. (Even though she's American, she has a Japanese name because her creator is from Japan. She's a little self-concious about the name dissonance, and hates being asked about it.)

    Personality: Cheerful and energetic, with unceasing motivation and determination to become a better singer. She's not particularly good, but she loves it. She's a little naive and dense sometimes, but means well. Very much a tomboy, though she's prone to girly things like developing crushes on other Vocaloids and UTAUs. (More often than not, these are simple infatuations and never lead to anything because Saki is simply bad at expressing her feelings.) When she's not singing, she enjoys acting, skating, and reading manga.

    Critique Thread- Get peoples opinions on your works! Sakikouta-Copy-1
    Bad art is bad, ergh. orz Sorry for rambling so much. Thanks again. |D
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    Post by Ezri on Sun Jul 04, 2010 10:45 pm

    Sakiko Hanane wrote:This is the thread I've been dreaming of. ;w; I adore critique, so thank all of you for participating in this. I'd like some critique on Sakiko's voice and character design (aesthetically and personality-wise), if you don't mind~

    I'm not gonna critique her voice because I'm not very good at that. ouo

    Design-wise, I like her clothes, but there seems to be more pink and black than anything else, so the little bits of red seem a bit random. I would put some on her boots to balance it out. I would implement more white too, since it's only on her shirt and it looks a little odd that way. oAo Love the actual clothes, though. XD Her hair/eyes seem really unmatching too, but I don't have much of a problem with that. I mean, I don't run around wearing brown and amber to match my hair and eyes. -w-b

    Um...personality-wise, I don't think I have any problems with her. ^^
    StateOfDep
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    Post by StateOfDep on Sun Jul 04, 2010 11:25 pm

    *sorry I can't give a good critique to save my life* OTL
    ...A crit. on my UTAU please?

    -----------
    Backstories, personalities... those can be disregarded... It's nothing special. OTL

    Picture of your UTAU:
    Spoiler:
    Two links, they're too big to appear correctly. In order, her alternate design, and her other alternate design (they're are mostly the same).
    In other news, she was designed to be more like a VOYAKILOID. ><" Color scheme-wise, at least. Sorta.
    Also, please ignore shoes. I fail at shoes. ;A;

    https://2img.net/h/i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa294/Itatchifangirl99/shizualtdone.png
    https://2img.net/h/i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa294/Itatchifangirl99/shizualt2done.png
    Name: Shizu Sogone (Quiet failure sound. Although Sogone means Contradicting sound (which also kinda fits, weird accent)...let's just say we had a kanji fail last year. OTL)

    Age: 18+, it's sorta flexible. She does tend to look and sound younger, though.

    Height: Approx. 5'7"

    Weight: Unknown, uhm...average-ish...? I somehow end up drawing her on the lean side, though. ><"

    Personality: As her name suggests, quiet. Somewhat shy and isolated, though. She is more rational/technical/professional acting than she is outgoing, and is hard to carry a conversation with (much to her despair). She tend to be cold to people, and makes herself somewhat apathetic towards others. She can be a different person around a few certain people, though. This can be disregarded, though.

    Backstory: I have a random one of dA... It's not worth sharing cuz it fails a lot.
    But, um, she's something like 3/4ths Chinese, and 1/4th of something else.

    Character Item: Five petaled, purple, flower. (That thing on her alternate images, pretty much.)

    Video or Video's:
    Spoiler:
    <-without flags, 5.o vB
    <-her only form of an Append, g+5 flag.
    <-may be slightly out of sync, but she sounds better with this song. This is her 4.1 VB, though. It was English-pronounced... :v

    Thanks~



    Last edited by StateOfDep on Sun Jul 04, 2010 11:26 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : largepicturefailOTL)
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    Post by xMienaiTsubasa on Mon Jul 05, 2010 5:49 am

    @Sakiko Hanane
    Okay~ I like her voice, only it sounds a little muffled. It's not too bad, and maybe it can be made better with flags. I think the main problem is her oto.. Since I think the way she sings sounds a little funny at points. Sometimes she goes out of time in Love of War. Did you use Sango's VSQ? Because I know that doesn't go out of time. Umm, is her voicebank up for download? I think I'd be able to help you make her sound better if I could look at it. It could also be the way you're using her, but I can't tell. Oh, and sorry if it seems I'm being a little harsh >.<

    @StateofDep

    I don't have much of a problem with her voice, she sounds cute and her voice is smooth ^^ In the two songs I listened to (Migikata no Chou and Youthful Days' Graffiti) she's not very understandable though. Her consonants aren't clear at all. That could be a problem with your oto cutting off too much consonant, or your overlap line being in the wrong place, or if you cut off too much consonant when you recorded. But that's really the only problem I can hear with her ^^
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    Post by Yume Barauta on Mon Jul 05, 2010 8:55 am

    @Sakiko Hanane
    Design wise, the one thing that bothers me is that her hair and eyes really clash with the rest of her outfit. Pink and orange... don't go all that well together. ;; Aside from that though, she's very cute and pretty original. :3
    I've noticed the same problem with her voice as MienaiTsubasa... She's a bit hard to understand sometimes because it's very hard to hear her consonants. This can probably be fixed with oto tweaking. Smile
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    Post by Sakiko Hanane on Mon Jul 05, 2010 10:46 am

    Thank you very much, everyone, for the compliments and the critique. Smile I've been meaning to change her design for a while; I just didn't know what to change. Thanks for pointing out the trouble spots.



    Yume Barauta wrote:I've noticed the same problem with her voice as MienaiTsubasa... She's a bit hard to understand sometimes because it's very hard to hear her consonants.

    Actually, the muffliness is could be because of the flag I used. I used an X-flag to achieve a megaphone-like effect. Is that the issue?

    MienaiTsubasa wrote: I think the main problem is her oto.. Since I think the way she sings sounds a little funny at points.

    I'm not sure if that's the same issue as the x-flag... Could you define exactly what's funny about it? <:\
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    Post by Yanyu on Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:26 am

    @Sakiko Hanane
    (This is just my opinion, if you wish to have leave it vocaloidy that's fine too.) if you wish for your utau to stand out, you should be different; nothing wrong with different since... WE ARE THE OVERSEAS YO and all different countries have come together in the fandom~ meaning lots of different traditional + modern fashions. Should really use this and the utau's personality and item's to give inspiration when designing clothes and choosing colour schemes~ but it's your utau! GO CRAZY (just not too crazy in a bad crazy way) *V*
    *shot for ranting about fashion*

    You don't have to take my advice about designs either it's just...there are many miku/rin/len vocaloid type clothes with utau, I think an utau should stand up and make it's mark sometimes (like Ritsu, ect)

    The voice, it's so-so. I have no complaints with it, if it's the flag that makes it muffled (but also maybe mic quality), but maybe get someone to check your oto.ini to see if there are any problems with it?

    @StateofDep
    Hmm. I rather like that second design; simple and a bit different, I just complain about the hair. That might just be your way of drawing long hair but it seems too fluffy (lol) I wonder how she can't get annoyed with all that hair running free (or fall over it)
    And yes the voice, so cute and nice...but, same as Yume and Mienai, can't understand her very well...
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    Post by xMienaiTsubasa on Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:31 am

    I listened to some of her other songs too, the muffled-ness sounds a little like your mic quality isn't that great.

    Like Yume said, sometimes her consonants are hard to hear, and on occasions they don't sound like the right sound (for example her 'daisuki' sounded like 'naisuki' to me). Also, it's just a minor point, but some people would prefer an UTAU to use Japanese r sounds or l sounds to English r sounds.
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    Post by moonlight the wolf on Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:47 am

    Hello!!~ I need a critique on my UTAU. No bashin please. D; I'm still new at this.


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    Post by StateOfDep on Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:53 am

    @Mienai and Yanyu:
    Thanks! I'll get right on fixing that.

    (Btw, her hair...I fail at making hair not-fluffy OTL", It usually ends up shorter, too ><")
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    Post by Yanyu on Mon Jul 05, 2010 12:05 pm

    moonlight the wolf wrote:Hello!!~ I need a critique on my UTAU. No bashin please. D; I'm still new at this.



    Ahh~ The water *shot* Nice picture btw, is that your utau? REally like the design~! And The main problems with the voice is mic quality, pronouncing some japanese and the oto.ini file... Don't worry every utau has protential to be amazing it just requires work and time~! (unless your an amazing genius) :D
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    Post by moonlight the wolf on Mon Jul 05, 2010 12:44 pm

    Hello again! Yes thats him, Thanks Embarassed

    Ohh. I want to know about that! the oto.ini. Whats that? =w=;; I kep hearing about that but no one really tell me what it is.

    Because I speak mainly spanish my accent gets in the way sometimes. =w='' sorryy.
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    Post by Yanyu on Mon Jul 05, 2010 1:46 pm

    :D Spanish? :D Wow!~ I love that language!~ *cant speak it at all thou :^:* Haha, it's okay~ you can re-do thoses any time.

    And well it's hard to explain but~ If you go on (you have the english patch right?) tools > voicebank settings, something pops up, that's the thing that edits the oto.ini file, theres a tutorial on here some where; Here? if you do that~ I'm sure he'll sound wayyy better :D you might not understand it at first but keep trying and testing and you'll see~ it's just practice like everything else.
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    Post by xMienaiTsubasa on Mon Jul 05, 2010 1:53 pm

    @moonlight the wolf

    Ah, he does look and sound nice. But like Yanyu said, because of mic quality I can barely understand him ^^' Also that's a Yura Honya UST you're using. They're difficult to use if you're just starting to use UTAU, so I'd avoid them for the moment. (The first song I made my UTAU sing was RIP=RELEASE as well XD)

    And he sings pretty well if he doesn't have an oto file o_o' But I'd advise looking at a tutorial on oto files anyway, since he will be able to sing a billion times better with one ^^
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    Post by moonlight the wolf on Mon Jul 05, 2010 2:19 pm

    @ yanyu

    Thank you!!

    I'm using the japanese one ^^;;

    But I'll see what I can do. Thanks for the tut link!

    @ Mienai

    Oh Thank you! Embarassed

    I'll look for a good mic. Im minda using my cp's mic. X'D


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