Utauloid critiques

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    Nanashi_Zokune

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    Utauloid critiques

    Post by Nanashi_Zokune on Sat Oct 23, 2010 8:00 pm

    this was requested by ari because she can't be over as much.
    okay well she would like some critiques on her utaus because she has been hearing things about them that are hurtful to her and apparently don't have the nerve to tell it to her face... i don't see why someone can't tell someone to their face about something, that only cause people to hate you cause you become labeled as someone who talks behind other peoples backs...

    and she would like to know if they're okay because all of this is making her feel some doubt about them.

    i though for one see no wrong in design and persephone is the most original looking utau out there that has not been copied (meaning she's still original)
    she worked hard looking up refrences from many different anime, dresses, clothes, real people ect. ect. that's how you make an original you do research >.>

    Lulluby Yuju
    http://yujusiblings.deviantart.com/art/Lullaby-Finally-XD-169092913?q=gallery%3AYujuSiblings%2F24259229&qo=23

    Persephone Heartless
    http://yujusiblings.deviantart.com/art/Persephone-Colored-157493510?q=gallery%3AYujuSiblings%2F24259229&qo=37

    Rhapsody Yuju
    http://yujusiblings.deviantart.com/art/Rhapsody-Concept-art-162230187?q=gallery%3AYujuSiblings%2F24259229&qo=29

    Bade Nal (in WIP)
    http://yujusiblings.deviantart.com/art/Bade-Concept-art-162230045?q=gallery%3AYujuSiblings%2F24259229&qo=30

    Arissa Roth
    http://yujusiblings.deviantart.com/art/Arissa-Concept-sketch-160303442?q=gallery%3AYujuSiblings%2F24259229&qo=34

    Stephan Bahkir (kind a WIP he should be released soon)
    http://yujusiblings.deviantart.com/art/Stephan-Bahkir-UTAULOID-167917894?q=gallery%3AYujuSiblings%2F24259229&qo=25

    so yes critiques please~
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    MillyAqualine

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    UTAU Information
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    Re: Utauloid critiques

    Post by MillyAqualine on Mon Oct 25, 2010 4:06 pm

    Lullaby = Cute, her cat ears are "special" (I'm may not so habited to see bicolor ears); adorable voice (even a little robotic)

    Persephone = I've already seen her, she's pretty ♥ ; sweet and wonderful voice *_*

    Rhapsody = nice ^^ ; a little breathy and a good mysterious voice n__n

    Bade = reminds me someone o_o

    Arissa = I like her n__n (even if I'm not a huge fan or red and black)

    Stephan = nice design n_n



    So, that was my critic (I hope it's not too light and more constructive than as usual)
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    scarfu

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    Re: Utauloid critiques

    Post by scarfu on Mon Nov 01, 2010 3:33 am

    Before I jump to critique, she's looking for critique on both design AND voice right? oxo
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    Nanashi_Zokune

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    Re: Utauloid critiques

    Post by Nanashi_Zokune on Mon Nov 01, 2010 3:35 am

    yes~
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    scarfu

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    Re: Utauloid critiques

    Post by scarfu on Mon Nov 01, 2010 4:18 am

    Alright well here we go. =u= I gave my 100% honest opinions here -- that doesn't make them right, and you, nor anybody else, has to agree with them, but these are how I view the characters presented before me with 100% honesty. =u=b

    ---

    Lullaby Yuju

    Lullaby's concept as far as design goes is actually a fairly cute concept. She seems like she'd be a librarian of some sorts, which is very cute to me. XD However, I think the way that her final design was carried out is a bit over the top in unnecessary and overdone detailing... For example, her color scheme is very, very typical (though in all honesty for her character, I actually like it a lot -- I just think the way in which it was prosecuted was overdone, you know? XD) Her hair, surprisingly, is fine with me -- which usually multicolored hair like that is very, very hard to pull off. However, I think adding the colored tips to her ears may have been a bit too much? It may have been a little less overbearing to just leave them black...

    As for her outfit, it's a little bit generic goth loli. XD; Typical bows, nothing really new that sticks out, you know? The biggest problem I have with her design is that her color thing is just... blue. Like, that blue color doesn't occur ANYWHERE else in her design, and so it looks very tacky and clashes with the rest of her. I realize in real that not all of our accessories are perfect matches, but Lullaby doesn't seem to be designed for the purpose of being realistic (hence the multicolored hair and cat ears), and so I think deciding to make the collar blue was proooooobably a bad idea. XD;; I like her boots a lot, and I like the bottom portion of her shirt, but I think that the top portion of her shirt looks a little trashy when the rest of her design looks kind of cutesy? So it feels a little out of place. Her shorts also feel a little out of place, but I commend you for taking a step outside of typical skirts for female UTAU. XD

    The fact that she's a cat girl also immediately strikes points off for me, but again surprisingly, Lullaby seems okay with cat ears to me. I, again, just think the prosecution of her design was handled a little choppily. ^^;;

    As for her voice, it's not really my thing. XD; It's not TERRIBLE, but it doesn't really have any like... new qualities to it? I think it could improve by having her voicer record with a clearer mic, and if her accent was improved, I think it'd do well too. =u=b

    ---

    Persephone Heartless

    Alright so for this character, I'm going to be entirely honest with you, please don't take it as offensive. ^^;; As someone who's been writing for almost all of her life, I can see a lot of things in Persephone that will (and have, apparently, as her voicer has informed me on twitter? oxo;;??) get her ridiculed and made fun of... XD

    I'll start with the points I like. Her color scheme is one of my favorite color schemes in existence, and so I think it's very pretty. *u* The concept behind her overall outfit too is very cute -- it's like Neo Geisha, it's a lot of fun!

    However, there are, as I stated, some problems with her as an overall character in both terms of design and just a character in general.

    Going off of her wikipedia page, her entire character just... doesn't make any sense. orz;; She's a Goddess/DNA experiment? WHAT? Like... how does that even HAPPEN? Is there a logical explanation for it? Furthermore, she's a Goddess/DNA experiment FROM THE FUTURE-- I really can't even begin to comprehend how this can be possible. If you had made her JUST a goddess, or JUST a DNA experiment, I probably wouldn't have said anything about her race -- but the fact that you combined BOTH is incredibly... improbable and farfetched. orz You have to remember that science (the DNA aspect) and religion (the goddess aspect) very, very rarely ever mix in a way that doesn't result in fire, mainly because science and religion almost always directly contradict one another -- I won't get into a huge philosophical rant here, but those two elements in combination are not only RIDICULOUS, but impossible even in a fictional setting.

    She gave up her sight to be with the human she loved... Okay I'm really sorry, and I realize this is probably not what you want to hear, but I'm just going to be honest and say it -- that is like, one of the most blatantly unoriginal sentences I have ever heard. orz;; First of all, why and how would this goddess have even come into contact with a human being long enough to fall in love? Second of all, why was she forced to give up her eyesight to do so? Third, why was it ONLY her eyesight? If some higher power were really that upset that she had fallen in love with a human, don't you think something more than her eyesight would have been taken from her? It seems like a very benevolent punishment for something that seems serious... And then if it wasn't serious, why punish her at all?

    I realize that UTAU isn't about the backstory and should be about the voice and blah blah blah, but this information was listed on Persephone's wiki, and therefore, I'm critiqing it because it is a part of her character. XD;

    As for her physical design, I'm going to be entirely honest with you once more. It seems that you went with the dual hair colors again -- but unlike with Lullaby, it really makes Persephone feel incredibly ridiculous. I think it's probably due to the combination with the rest of her outfit...? It just feels way too flashy, and... orz;; I think my BIGGEST problem with her design is her wings. Those are just.... I can't really explain to you, but they're very ridiculous. The first time I saw her design, I rolled my eyes upon seeing her because of her wings and dual hair colors. Her outfit in it's self is actually very cute -- granted, the fishnet is very typical, but I think it fits the whole Neo Samurai theme I was talking about earlier, you know?

    I honestly think if you would have kept her hair color just solid white and would have gotten rid of the back wings, Persephone would have been a fairly original character -- however, because you added these things, along with that ridiculous backstory, she became a "mary sue type" character, you know?

    My last issue with her is her name. Persephone Heartless... XD;;; Those things together are... just pretty bad, I'm sorry. XD; Persephone by it's self would have been REALLY cute, but... Persephone Heartless... That name is very... very, very, VERY mary sue. XDDDD;

    Her voice is actually very cute, but again, there's nothing new about it, you know? XD It's like, typical high voice, I can't really differentiate it from others... But her pronunciation sounds fairly good from what I'm listening to (her r's are suffering from the American r syndrome, which is what only makes it fairly good XD;;;), and her voice is also very clear, so that's definitely a plus!

    ---

    Rhapsody Yuju

    I can't seem to find a full colored reference for Rhapsody, so I can't give a full critique, but the uncolored version looks very nice! It's a little Vocaloid-ish, but I like UTAU designs that look that way, so I think it's a nice fit. =u= I really like his striped shirt as well. Out of all of your UTAU that I've reviewed so far, I can easily say that he's the best. XD His striped shirt is probably my favorite part. =u= I hope his colors are simplistic and nice too, because I think anything complicated like Lullaby or Persephone would really bring him down orz;;;

    His voice is also very cute! It's nice and shota sounding -- is it a female voiced male or a male voice...? Either way, it's cute.

    ---


    Bade Nal

    Ohoho, this concept is actually my favorite, I've changed my mind. XD His outfit is very simplistic, but I think that fits him very, very well. He kind of gives a hipster vibe to me, like a guy who's like =w= and plays the guitar and poopie, you know? XD His name also fits that image I have of him, so I really like this the best. *u* I personally think he is very cute, I'm excited to see him get finished. *u*

    ---
    Arissa Roth
    Arissa.. otl;;; OK so again, her outfit is actually entirely okay with me. Again, red and black is a TERRIBLY overdone color scheme, but again, you've managed to have her carry it out fairly well. XD Her wings though... Protip: Wings are /generally/ a bad idea. XD;;;; They make the character seem farfetched and very difficult to take seriously... I really like the hand things you put in the design though, those are cute XD As for her backstory... I already critiqued Persephone's, so I feel like doing Arissa's over again would just be repetitive and unnecessary, so I won't. XD;;; One thing I'd like to point out is her naming -- the name Arissa is pretty, but Roth? Due to her design, I almost feel like that was a spin on goth somehow... orz;; That's not the way you want to go, trust me. And besides, aren't she and Persephone sisters...? Why don't they have the same surname...? All I'll say is that it's a littttttttle too impossible, and very, very ridiculous. orz;;;

    Does Arissa not have a voice yet? oxo I tried to find it on youtube but couldn't find...

    ---

    Stephan Bahkir

    There really isn't anything like TERRIBLE about this design, but it's not very original either... Well not that it's not ORIGINAL, but there's just nothing... new about it, you know? You already seem to have a shota UTAU, and so having another one seems... repetitive... Also his wings, but his wings are actually okay with me somehow, probably because they're tiny and cute, rather than like serious and feather-y/bone-y, you know? XD They look more like a back accessory than HELLO I AM GOD, if that makes sense. XD His design is pretty similar to Rhapsody's, so that's why I'm not really a huge fan of this design, because it' really just looks like a Rhapsody append to me rather than an entirely new UTAU, you know...?

    No voice samples so I can't critique that ;u;/

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    Re: Utauloid critiques

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