Tact. You all need it.

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    mystsaphyr
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    Tact. You all need it.

    Post by mystsaphyr on Wed May 05, 2010 4:20 am

    Badly.

    Instead of excusing away snide, bitter, and sarcastic replies with "I'm just kidding" or "I can't help it" or "I'm *instert mental illness here*" or whichever, just DON'T POST.

    If you know what you're about to say is going to be completely unhelpful or deconstructive, don't say it in the first place.

    We just made fools of ourselves as a forum in "welcoming" the moderators of VocaloidOtaku to Overseas UTAU.

    The other mods and I do not want a repeat of this incident.

    Remember, if you love your chatbox and your forum privileges, respect each other.

    That is all.

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by Skye on Wed May 05, 2010 4:25 am

    I agree with everything that Myst has said. I was rather embarrassed by all the comments I read regarding the matter. It has occured to me that maybe one of the mods had cleaned up the topic, but what spawned this on? /Or did you just feel like bashing the place?/ I'm not trying to point fingers or anything, but I'm really curious as to what made you guys feel like saying that VO is such a place.

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by smeen on Wed May 05, 2010 4:38 am

    I also agree with Myst. And not only about this topic, but other topics started with a normal discussion point (The people quitting-topic) go completely haywire with comments hurting others.

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by KanashiiNoNeko on Wed May 05, 2010 5:16 am

    smeen wrote:I also agree with Myst. And not only about this topic, but other topics started with a normal discussion point (The people quitting-topic) go completely haywire with comments hurting others.

    Yes you're right, I should think twice before starting something like that xD

    And I totally agree with Myst too!

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by smeen on Wed May 05, 2010 5:27 am

    KanashiiNoNeko wrote:
    smeen wrote:I also agree with Myst. And not only about this topic, but other topics started with a normal discussion point (The people quitting-topic) go completely haywire with comments hurting others.

    Yes you're right, I should think twice before starting something like that xD

    And I totally agree with Myst too!

    It's not your fault people start dissing others, you didn't start the topic with that intention. Now you're completely thinking the other way around. You should have the freedom to start a discussion about such a subject without having the risk to get the topic locked.

    mystsaphyr
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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by mystsaphyr on Wed May 05, 2010 11:23 am

    smeen wrote:
    KanashiiNoNeko wrote:

    Yes you're right, I should think twice before starting something like that xD

    And I totally agree with Myst too!

    It's not your fault people start dissing others, you didn't start the topic with that intention. Now you're completely thinking the other way around. You should have the freedom to start a discussion about such a subject without having the risk to get the topic locked.

    Yes, none of the mods blames you or anyone who posts a topic without ill intent, only if there's a slight lack of foresight for where the conversation might turn (the UTAUs you dislike topic).

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by suthethird on Wed May 05, 2010 5:36 pm

    Wait, I'm really confused and have no idea what happened.

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by Ezri on Wed May 05, 2010 6:25 pm

    Rightrightright. ^^; I can't agree more.

    So much drama, I just want it all to be gone. ;A;

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by Luna on Wed May 05, 2010 6:38 pm

    Really, it started as a misunderstood joke, people got a bit too overdefensive, and started pointing blame at people.

    I think this is more of an experience to learn from, as an experience never wished happen.
    Sure, everyone doesn't want it to happen again, but now the mods at VO know how we feel, and that we feel excluded. Maybe it can give them something to work on to make VO an ever better forum.
    So to turn a negative event into a positive one. 8D

    Honestly, what I had written was a joke that was taken out of hand. I shouldn't have written what I said like that, and I apologize greatly for the strife that came from it.
    Simple misunderstandings can lead to hatefest, as i've learned in the past.

    But, this makes VO realize the reason we're starting to ebb away from them.

    So, you can make this a positive or negative event ^^

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by mystsaphyr on Wed May 05, 2010 6:47 pm

    suthethird wrote:Wait, I'm really confused and have no idea what happened.

    Refer to this thread please.

    And also, an explanation is in order. They did not "remove all the accounts so the forum could be prettier," they were forced to remove all the accounts because their old forum was actually getting full and they needed a new one with more space, but they couldn't transfer all the accounts and posts between the two.

    Luna wrote:Really, it started as a misunderstood joke, people got a bit too overdefensive, and started pointing blame at people.

    I will point back to what I said above in the first post. I am glad that you apologized for your post causing trouble, though :3

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by Aline on Wed May 05, 2010 7:06 pm

    Well, if they wanted the forum to be prettier, they would just make a new layout and voilà... But server space is a beeyotch, and they needed to overhaul the place. I understand their point.

    Then again, Luna explained to me she was joking, and it seemed like a big, bouncing misunderstanding to me (well, not gonna try to explain Crossfrown's post because I dunno what she meant with that)...

    That's why I don't like to joke in this forum unless I get an array of emoticons following this, because I don't want to see any misunderstandings happening after my post (like many times before, just ask anyone ^^')

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by mystsaphyr on Wed May 05, 2010 7:13 pm

    Aline wrote:
    That's why I don't like to joke in this forum unless I get an array of emoticons following this, because I don't want to see any misunderstandings happening after my post

    THIIIIIIS.

    I'm not saying it's still okay to call someone a derogatory word or something but I mean,

    "You're a f*ggot."

    isn't as joking as

    "LOL You're such a f*ggot! xDDD"

    Context can be a beyotch.

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by Chasing Fireflies on Wed May 05, 2010 7:24 pm

    D= Oh my gosh, I'm really sorry if what I said contributed to the situation, I really didn't mean anything bad by it, what I meant was that VO is a big place and big forums kind of intimidate me.

    That said, I think it was just one of those situations where things spiraled out of control, hopefully no one really meant anything bad by it. =( Though I agree with Aline, it's really easy to be misunderstood online, so you've kind of got to be careful how you word things. (And yes, smilies always help. ^__^ )

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by Luna on Wed May 05, 2010 7:28 pm

    People need to be less... judgemental and think of the possible reasons why someone would post before starting hatefest.
    It was right of the VO mods to approach this, but the way they handled it could have been done a tad bit better, in my opinion.

    The way all of us handled it could have been done better.

    I didnt know all this was going on until I opened my inbox and found a PM from Myst, here, about it.
    Then I read everything that had occured. Thats the reason I never posted, because as soon as I foudn this had started, I would have apologizeed. I never knew it had occured.
    Id been sick with the flu and grounded ^^

    but yeah. Dx

    I mean, you can't ever be sure of how someone says something because... you're not hearing them say it. xD

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by mystsaphyr on Wed May 05, 2010 7:37 pm

    Luna wrote:
    It was right of the VO mods to approach this, but the way they handled it could have been done a tad bit better, in my opinion.

    That is true. The sudden tl;dr textwall from nowhere was a little intimidating, and might have reinforced some opinions people had of VO. But on the other hand, they had a right to say what was bothering them.


    Chasing Fireflies wrote:D= Oh my gosh, I'm really sorry if what I said contributed to the situation, I really didn't mean anything bad by it, what I meant was that VO is a big place and big forums kind of intimidate me.

    Don't worry, your comment wasn't a huge contribution, nor did it come across as particularly heavily insulting ^^

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by Ezri on Wed May 05, 2010 7:44 pm

    Aaah, now I feel really bad about the "prettier" comment. Dx (In my defense, I had no idea why the overhaul was going on, and upon my return my account was deleted, so I was confused. Not that that makes up for anything. D:)

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by mystsaphyr on Wed May 05, 2010 7:51 pm

    Ezri wrote:Aaah, now I feel really bad about the "prettier" comment. Dx (In my defense, I had no idea why the overhaul was going on, and upon my return my account was deleted, so I was confused. Not that that makes up for anything. D:)

    It's understandable you were mad. I had to hunt around a little for the explanation on the forum, so I kinda wish it had been posted as a global announcement or something. But once I understood what had happened I just went and remade my account.

    Also, contact the admins and they can give you your post count back if you want. You can grab it off the old forum, they have an "archives" link back to it.

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by xLei on Wed May 05, 2010 8:47 pm

    I didn't mean to hurt they feelings by saying their were elitist (I said kinda) but most of the members I have met on those forums were so I'm actually kinda afraid to post there in ANY forums aside from the Downloads ones D;

    I want to apologize for that though. I wasn't trying to be mean or anything D:

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by Aster Selene on Wed May 05, 2010 9:15 pm

    i started the topic and didn't expect it to go out of hand...when it did, I made excuses...

    Screw me.

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by mystsaphyr on Wed May 05, 2010 10:34 pm

    Aster Selene wrote:i started the topic and didn't expect it to go out of hand...when it did, I made excuses...

    Screw me.

    Again, not anyone's fault for starting the topic. This one should have been an innocent "ohhey the forum is back" thing, but it turned sour.

    Don't beat yourself over the head about it. It's not any one person's fault and it's certainly not your fault ^^

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by Crossfrown on Thu May 06, 2010 2:16 pm

    I was just sniping at someone who was making a backhanded comment. There is no reason for more wank bait in a resolved topic. I didn't really see any reason to seriously provoke the person nor bring it to them gently, and I carry my tact on like I carry a dresser twice my size, possibly being unintentionally more offensive.


    Also "I'm *instert mental illness here*" is kind of ablist to those who don't have Internet Aspergers. Usually, people with some autism types are not aware they are being rude, and might not understand even when it's pointed out (lack of comprehension of social standards). You can't tell them to not post something that's rude, because sometimes, they don't know that.

    (in my case I'm aware I'm being rude and I've started checking what I say, and if I need to apply more tact I just give up posting because I seriously have no idea what's tactful by most standards.)

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by mystsaphyr on Thu May 06, 2010 2:34 pm

    Crossfrown wrote:I was just sniping at someone who was making a backhanded comment. There is no reason for more wank bait in a resolved topic. I didn't really see any reason to seriously provoke the person nor bring it to them gently, and I carry my tact on like I carry a dresser twice my size, possibly being unintentionally more offensive.


    Also "I'm *instert mental illness here*" is kind of ablist to those who don't have Internet Aspergers. Usually, people with some autism types are not aware they are being rude, and might not understand even when it's pointed out (lack of comprehension of social standards). You can't tell them to not post something that's rude, because sometimes, they don't know that.

    (in my case I'm aware I'm being rude and I've started checking what I say, and if I need to apply more tact I just give up posting because I seriously have no idea what's tactful by most standards.)

    I do realize that sarcasm is part of your nature, but dropping comments like "Clearly the rules say I have to sugar-coat everything I say else I oh no wait nevermind." is just obnoxious and pointless and piling more dirt on the forum that we're already trying to dig up out of the ditch. I'm not asking everyone to link arms and sing kumbayah around the campfire, but I am asking for a little respect and politeness. Halo's comment didn't help either, but it wasn't overtly rude or negative.

    Granted, I went a little far with the mental illness thing. I'm just used to those with "internet aspergers" using it all over the place and it gets frustrating sometimes. If you know what you're typing enough to excuse it with "oh that's because I'm *blah*" and not correcting your behavior after recognizing it then honestly I don't consider that believable.
    If someone says something rude I'll call them out on it. If they say something rude and pin on "don't take me seriously I have chronic depression and a migraine headache" I'll roll my eyes and delete a message. Does that make my point more clear?

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by Crossfrown on Fri May 07, 2010 1:30 am

    It was a rude thing to say, I know, and awareness of this is what caused me to decide to start checking my comments through again. I apologize.

    Autism accidental rudeness is commonly known as those random absolute-honesty comments, like walking up and saying something extremely insulting and not really getting why you shouldn't.
    Saying obviously malicious insults ("you have really bad hair" vs. "your hair is disgusting and you should brush it more") instantly means using the "I have autism" excuse doesn't count, since it is in fact possible to be both an asshole and autistic.
    Depression and a headache are not reasons to be excused no matter what, though. It just means a bad mood.

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    Re: Tact. You all need it.

    Post by Jessic on Sun Sep 12, 2010 9:59 am

    I,agree with it:)!

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