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    May I ask for the help of a fluent Spanish-speaker?

    UtauReni
    UtauReni


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    May I ask for the help of a fluent Spanish-speaker? Empty May I ask for the help of a fluent Spanish-speaker?

    Post by UtauReni Wed Oct 06, 2010 12:32 am

    I've been working on an original UTAU song lately. It's a Latin tune, and I have written Spanish lyrics for it. However, I have a limited knowledge of the language, and I want to make sure all the linguistics are in check.

    Here's what I've got:

    Cuando bailamos en la luz de las estrellas y la luna
    Tu pelo se parece a raso y tus ojos, diamentes
    En el cielo de noche, no hay futuro o pasado
    Mi corazon llorando
    La sangre en mis manos, todo yo quiero en mi vida,
    es tu amor

    Cuando bailamos, hay un fuego en nosotros corazones
    No quiero la realidad, quiero solamente te beso todo el tiempo
    Conozco que tu vas a comprender mis sentimientos
    Cuando mueres
    Tu amas ella solamente, pero ella es en su tumba
    Me amas, por favor

    Cuando bailamos, escuchando a la banda
    Memoria viva, el fuego ardiendo
    Tu sonrisa es
    Una mentira
    Pero te quiero
    Cuando bailamos

    My English translation:

    When we dance in the light of the stars and the moon
    Your hair is like satin and your eyes, diamond
    In the night sky, there is no past or future
    My heart is crying
    The blood on my hands, everything I want in my life
    is your love

    When we dance, there is a fire in our hearts
    I do not want reality, I just want to kiss you all the time
    I know that you are going to understand my feelings
    When you die
    You love her alone, but she is in her grave
    Love me, please

    When we dance, listening to the band
    Living memory, the fire burning
    Your smile is
    A lie
    But I want you
    When we dance




    So if anything seems a bit wonky, either in the Spanish itself or the English translation I have, please let me know! Thanks!
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    May I ask for the help of a fluent Spanish-speaker? Empty Re: May I ask for the help of a fluent Spanish-speaker?

    Post by Guest Wed Oct 06, 2010 1:00 am

    Go find Yesi...She can help you.
    Catarsis
    Catarsis


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    May I ask for the help of a fluent Spanish-speaker? Empty Re: May I ask for the help of a fluent Spanish-speaker?

    Post by Catarsis Thu Oct 07, 2010 8:16 pm

    UtauReni wrote:I've been working on an original UTAU song lately. It's a Latin tune, and I have written Spanish lyrics for it. However, I have a limited knowledge of the language, and I want to make sure all the linguistics are in check.

    Here's what I've got:

    Cuando bailamos en la luz de las estrellas y la luna
    Tu pelo se parece a raso y tus ojos, diamentes
    En el cielo de noche, no hay futuro o pasado
    Mi corazon llorando
    La sangre en mis manos, todo yo quiero en mi vida,
    es tu amor

    Cuando bailamos, hay un fuego en nosotros corazones
    No quiero la realidad, quiero solamente te beso todo el tiempo
    Conozco que tu vas a comprender mis sentimientos
    Cuando mueres
    Tu amas ella solamente, pero ella es en su tumba
    Me amas, por favor

    Cuando bailamos, escuchando a la banda
    Memoria viva, el fuego ardiendo
    Tu sonrisa es
    Una mentira
    Pero te quiero
    Cuando bailamos

    My English translation:

    When we dance in the light of the stars and the moon
    Your hair is like satin and your eyes, diamond
    In the night sky, there is no past or future
    My heart is crying
    The blood on my hands, everything I want in my life
    is your love

    When we dance, there is a fire in our hearts
    I do not want reality, I just want to kiss you all the time
    I know that you are going to understand my feelings
    When you die
    You love her alone, but she is in her grave
    Love me, please

    When we dance, listening to the band
    Living memory, the fire burning
    Your smile is
    A lie
    But I want you
    When we dance




    So if anything seems a bit wonky, either in the Spanish itself or the English translation I have, please let me know! Thanks!

    I've corrected it:
    Spoiler:

    I hope it fits the melody Smile
    irei1as
    irei1as


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    Status: Almost there... but kinda failed

    May I ask for the help of a fluent Spanish-speaker? Empty Re: May I ask for the help of a fluent Spanish-speaker?

    Post by irei1as Fri Oct 08, 2010 4:12 am

    vodKata fixes are correct. She speaks Spanish as main language after all, heh.

    But let me try to make another adaption to Spanish. Take in count both traslations are right, but just with different dialects (the same way as USA English and UK English are both correct English but a bit different). You could also mix the lines so they can fit better the melody as they're mainly interchangeable.

    Spoiler:


    Last edited by irei1as on Mon Oct 11, 2010 2:41 am; edited 2 times in total
    Catarsis
    Catarsis


    Posts : 802
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    May I ask for the help of a fluent Spanish-speaker? Empty Re: May I ask for the help of a fluent Spanish-speaker?

    Post by Catarsis Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:32 pm

    irei1as wrote:vodKata fixes are correct. She speaks Spanish as main language after all, heh.

    But let me try to make another adaption to Spanish. Take in count both traslations are right, but just with different dialects (the same way as USA English and UK English are both correct English but a bit different). You could also mix the lines so they can fit better the melody as they're mainly interchangeable.

    Spoiler:

    Exactly. Irei is from Spain and I'm from Chile so there are some differences, but nothing special Smile
    They're just different dialects, so both versions are OK.

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    May I ask for the help of a fluent Spanish-speaker? Empty Re: May I ask for the help of a fluent Spanish-speaker?

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