Overseas Utaforum

Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

+3
numbarr3
moeloid
Trempush
7 posters

    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Trempush
    Trempush


    Posts : 364
    Notes : 893
    Reputation : 17
    Join date : 2010-06-05
    Age : 38
    Location : Atlanta,GA, USA

    UTAU Information
    UTAUloid or Project: Trem, Travis, and Adele
    Blog/Website: http://trempushjones.blogspot.com/
    Status: Trem v2.0 WIP, Independent Travis WIP, Adele v1.0 complete

    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback? Empty The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Post by Trempush Mon Jun 14, 2010 3:15 pm

    Here I go again with the english works-in-progress, lol.

    So I was fiddling with some loops that I found on a free loops website, and...somehow it turned into a song about an android.

    Because no one's written a song for Vocaloid/UTAU about an android before, right?

    *COUGHCOUGHKOKOROCOUGH *

    Anyway.

    So this android is supposed to be very basic. She's not supposed to feel, or express emotion. She's not that advanced.

    But when she actually comes into contact with a human for the first time, she witnesses his emotion, and later she starts to feel it herself. She calls it as a 'Human Sound', because that's the only way the engineers that made her could get her to remotely understand the phenomenon of a feeling.

    The song doesn't really have much of a plot, other than that.

    Here's the lyrics:

    I was told I'm incapable
    Of expressing emotion
    conscious thought was beyond my grasp
    I thought that this was true.

    Then I met a human being,
    Someone I wasn't meant to see,
    he smiled and spoke kind words
    and for the first time I got to see...

    (bridge)
    In my first few hours of running,
    I was told of a strange force,
    that came from deep within the living,
    they described it as a 'human sound'...

    (chorus)
    and I heard it for the first time,
    from a stranger,
    I never ever will forget the warmth,
    as it echoed through my sensors,
    and reached inside,
    to a place that I never knew,
    a Human Sound

    a human sound...

    He told me of a world outside
    of the building I'd never left,
    'take my hand,' he said, and we ran
    without ever looking back...

    (chorus)
    and I heard for the second time,
    from withtin
    I never ever will forget the warmth,
    as it echoed through my sensors,
    and came outside,
    from a place that I never knew,
    a human sound...

    a human sound...

    (refrain)
    some say I'm better than my makers,
    some say I'll never compare,
    but when I hear the Human Sound,
    I know that I have barely begun...

    and it comes from diferent places,
    every time,
    and I never ever will forget the warmth,
    as it echoes through my sensors,
    I feel alive,
    and it always seems to feel new,
    this human sound...

    this human sound...

    I love the Human Sound...

    (end)

    AAAAAnd here's the very first four lines put to that loop that started this whole mess:
    http://www.4shared.com/audio/7czJ6Vl6/Human_Sound_PV1.html

    Never mind the space after her first set of lyrics, that's where the next set is going to go...

    ANYway.

    So what do you guys think? Should I stop before I embarrass myself, or do I have something here?

    And does anyone have ides for a PV? 'Cause at the moment I'm thinkin' that I want to collab and make a PV with this song, when it's done. That's a ways off, but yeah...

    Any feedback would be welcome. Smile
    moeloid
    moeloid


    Posts : 555
    Notes : 1550
    Reputation : 94
    Join date : 2010-04-26
    Age : 27
    Location : Somewhere ;)

    UTAU Information
    UTAUloid or Project: MOELOID
    Blog/Website: http://moeloid01.blogspot.com/
    Status:

    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback? Empty Re: The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Post by moeloid Mon Jun 14, 2010 3:32 pm

    That sounds great! I think you should continue with it^^ It has such a catchy beat~
    numbarr3
    numbarr3


    Posts : 192
    Notes : 725
    Reputation : 10
    Join date : 2010-02-20
    Age : 30
    Location : Wonderland

    UTAU Information
    UTAUloid or Project: KAISA
    Blog/Website: http://utaukaisa.blogspot.com/
    Status: Kaisa ACT 2; Recording some sounds for 2.1

    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback? Empty Re: The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Post by numbarr3 Mon Jun 14, 2010 3:45 pm

    its good! :D

    i love the lyrics and beat! ^^
    Trempush
    Trempush


    Posts : 364
    Notes : 893
    Reputation : 17
    Join date : 2010-06-05
    Age : 38
    Location : Atlanta,GA, USA

    UTAU Information
    UTAUloid or Project: Trem, Travis, and Adele
    Blog/Website: http://trempushjones.blogspot.com/
    Status: Trem v2.0 WIP, Independent Travis WIP, Adele v1.0 complete

    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback? Empty Re: The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Post by Trempush Mon Jun 14, 2010 4:26 pm

    moeloid wrote:That sounds great! I think you should continue with it^^ It has such a catchy beat~

    Thank you! I was listening to it for so long, I didn't know what to think of it anymore, lol.

    I'm glad people like it!

    *Runs off to add more*
    Trempush
    Trempush


    Posts : 364
    Notes : 893
    Reputation : 17
    Join date : 2010-06-05
    Age : 38
    Location : Atlanta,GA, USA

    UTAU Information
    UTAUloid or Project: Trem, Travis, and Adele
    Blog/Website: http://trempushjones.blogspot.com/
    Status: Trem v2.0 WIP, Independent Travis WIP, Adele v1.0 complete

    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback? Empty Re: The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Post by Trempush Mon Jun 14, 2010 4:26 pm

    numbarr3 wrote:its good! :D

    i love the lyrics and beat! ^^

    Thank you! Smile
    MichiSuzune
    MichiSuzune


    Posts : 90
    Notes : 294
    Reputation : 6
    Join date : 2010-04-05
    Age : 30
    Location : Ontario, Canada

    UTAU Information
    UTAUloid or Project: Michiko Suzune & Hideki Soshine
    Blog/Website: None yet.
    Status: Michi ACT2 coming soon!

    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback? Empty Re: The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Post by MichiSuzune Mon Jun 14, 2010 9:50 pm

    OAO I like this~ very much. Looking forward to the finished version! >w<
    산쇼씨 (Sansyo-ssi)
    산쇼씨 (Sansyo-ssi)


    Posts : 281
    Notes : 838
    Reputation : 25
    Join date : 2010-01-13
    Age : 32
    Location : ...저기! 저기!!( ゜▽゜

    UTAU Information
    UTAUloid or Project: 歌音山将
    Blog/Website: http://kimsansyo.blog128.fc2.com/blog-entry-3.html
    Status: JP Renzoku + KR Ryeonsok

    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback? Empty Re: The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Post by 산쇼씨 (Sansyo-ssi) Mon Jun 14, 2010 9:55 pm

    Lol, I like the beat, and I can see where you're going with the lyrics. *v*
    ...However I think the third and fourth lines kind of contradict, ahaha.
    Trempush
    Trempush


    Posts : 364
    Notes : 893
    Reputation : 17
    Join date : 2010-06-05
    Age : 38
    Location : Atlanta,GA, USA

    UTAU Information
    UTAUloid or Project: Trem, Travis, and Adele
    Blog/Website: http://trempushjones.blogspot.com/
    Status: Trem v2.0 WIP, Independent Travis WIP, Adele v1.0 complete

    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback? Empty Re: The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Post by Trempush Mon Jun 14, 2010 10:31 pm

    산쇼씨 (Sansyo-ssi) wrote:Lol, I like the beat, and I can see where you're going with the lyrics. *v*
    ...However I think the third and fourth lines kind of contradict, ahaha.

    ooh, hadn't thought of that--thanks for pointing that out!

    I'll have to go fix this now, haha. Smile
    Trempush
    Trempush


    Posts : 364
    Notes : 893
    Reputation : 17
    Join date : 2010-06-05
    Age : 38
    Location : Atlanta,GA, USA

    UTAU Information
    UTAUloid or Project: Trem, Travis, and Adele
    Blog/Website: http://trempushjones.blogspot.com/
    Status: Trem v2.0 WIP, Independent Travis WIP, Adele v1.0 complete

    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback? Empty Re: The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Post by Trempush Mon Jun 14, 2010 10:32 pm

    MichiSuzune wrote:OAO I like this~ very much. Looking forward to the finished version! >w<

    thanks! Smile
    xMienaiTsubasa
    xMienaiTsubasa


    Posts : 295
    Notes : 765
    Reputation : 7
    Join date : 2010-05-29
    Age : 29
    Location : UK

    UTAU Information
    UTAUloid or Project:
    Blog/Website:
    Status:

    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback? Empty Re: The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Post by xMienaiTsubasa Tue Jun 15, 2010 6:57 am

    It sounds really good so far. Yay for English original songs~
    smeen
    smeen


    Posts : 3113
    Notes : 7719
    Reputation : 96
    Join date : 2010-03-13
    Age : 33
    Location : Yuugi-Slavia

    UTAU Information
    UTAUloid or Project: Yuugi Hakune/Nubia
    Blog/Website: http://utauonline.com/yuugi/
    Status: Yuugi: Act 2 Released/Nubia: CV/VC Recorded

    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback? Empty Re: The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Post by smeen Tue Jun 15, 2010 8:21 am

    *works even faster on her own songs*
    Trempush
    Trempush


    Posts : 364
    Notes : 893
    Reputation : 17
    Join date : 2010-06-05
    Age : 38
    Location : Atlanta,GA, USA

    UTAU Information
    UTAUloid or Project: Trem, Travis, and Adele
    Blog/Website: http://trempushjones.blogspot.com/
    Status: Trem v2.0 WIP, Independent Travis WIP, Adele v1.0 complete

    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback? Empty Re: The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Post by Trempush Tue Jun 15, 2010 8:25 am

    smeen wrote:*works even faster on her own songs*

    lol, GO GO GO! *waves flag*
    Trempush
    Trempush


    Posts : 364
    Notes : 893
    Reputation : 17
    Join date : 2010-06-05
    Age : 38
    Location : Atlanta,GA, USA

    UTAU Information
    UTAUloid or Project: Trem, Travis, and Adele
    Blog/Website: http://trempushjones.blogspot.com/
    Status: Trem v2.0 WIP, Independent Travis WIP, Adele v1.0 complete

    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback? Empty Re: The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Post by Trempush Tue Jun 15, 2010 8:26 am

    xMienaiTsubasa wrote:It sounds really good so far. Yay for English original songs~

    Thanks! Smile
    smeen
    smeen


    Posts : 3113
    Notes : 7719
    Reputation : 96
    Join date : 2010-03-13
    Age : 33
    Location : Yuugi-Slavia

    UTAU Information
    UTAUloid or Project: Yuugi Hakune/Nubia
    Blog/Website: http://utauonline.com/yuugi/
    Status: Yuugi: Act 2 Released/Nubia: CV/VC Recorded

    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback? Empty Re: The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Post by smeen Tue Jun 15, 2010 8:27 am

    Thank you!

    Sponsored content


    The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback? Empty Re: The Human Sound (Original Song WIP, English) Critique/feedback?

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Fri Nov 15, 2024 10:23 am